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| No title yet; This is a paper due monday | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 8 2009, 04:04 AM (31 Views) | |
| 4plus4is8 | Nov 8 2009, 04:04 AM Post #1 |
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Ok yeah, this is a paper that is due monday and its supposed to be something that really happened. This never actually did happen, Annie is my best friend and goes to my school but thats it, so just tell me if its believable. Annie, a sophomore at El Dorado high school in Albuquerque, got off the bus at her stop. No sooner than when her foot crunched down on the pavement of the street as she left the final step did her phone ring. The loud, annoying sound of her ringtone went off, causing her to jump out of her skin, and off the bus. She looked at her phone, which displayed “DAD” across the screen in glowing blue letters. After answering and saying hello she had to tell him to wait as the bus loudly pulled away. “Go ahead.” “You have to get to the hospital right now,” he said “Wait, what’s going on?” “I can’t explain, just call Marcus and have him pick you up where ever you are and have him bring you.” The call ended but she kept the phone pressed to her ear, squeezing it hard as if everything she wanted to know was going to come poring out of the receiver. Slowly she lowered the phone, now becoming worried. By the time she started punching numbers in, calling her brother for a ride she was frantic. Hank flipped his phone closed after talking to his daughter, Annie. He had not wanted to tell her, or her brother Marcus what was really going on. The last thing he wanted to do was scare his children even though he remained scared, scared that he would make the wrong choice. The events that led up to his situation flooded his mind, he tried to push them out. They made him think it had been his fault, and he tried to think of what he could have done differently. But there was nothing, it had been an accident, out of his control. It must be human nature, he thought, to blame ourselves when we are blameless but make excuses when we are in the wrong. There was nothing he could have done to avoid the crash, nor anything to get here faster. Now he really thought back to when they left. It had been a normal appointment for his wife, now very close to giving birth to there would be son. Everything had been fine, and the doctor sent them home. When crossing an intersection not a half-mile from the hospital another car came seemingly out of nowhere and smashed into the right side of theirs, where Hanks wife Kelly had been sitting. The door crumpled like paper and the glass exploded inward. Thankfully neither car was traveling very fast, so they only span around one time before coming to a screeching halt. Hank looked out of his windshield, now with several large cracks coming across it, and saw the other car. A dark blue Ford F-150 sat in front of him with cracks forming a spider web across the windshield concealing a surprised driver who, Hank assumed did not want to pay for the damage he had caused, slammed on the gas and sped off. Hank then turned to his wife. She was half screaming, half groaning in pain. He struggled to get out of the car, then franticly called 9-1-1. After telling them where they crashed and what happened he ran around to his wife’s door, not paying attention to the other cars stopped around, or the people staring as they drove by. Somehow he forced the door open and cut the seatbelt off with his keys but he dared not try to move her, for fear of causing her more harm. When the ambulance arrived they got her out of the car and put her in like, all he could think of was that they were sliding her into a giant metal coffin as he followed. As Hank recalled these events he automatically blocked out the ride to the hospital, only remembering how hard it was for him not to start shouting, or crying, or trying to help. He only remembered the pain and fear. After getting to the hospital he sat outside the room she had been taken to. When the doctor came out he said, “I’m sorry, but I cannot save her and the baby.” Hank was stunned, unable to even speak. “You have time to make a decision”, the doctor went on “About two hours, by then I need an answer.” “W-who is more likely to survive?” Hank finally asked. “Impossible to say, I will be more than likely to save whomever you tell me to.” The doctor smiled sadly at him, then walked by, patting him on the shoulder as he went. Hank stood, leaning against the wall, breathing hard, and trying to think of what to do. He had to ask his kids, he decided, in person, he had to ask his kids. He pulled his phone out of his jeans and called Marcus. “Hey, Dad,” Marcus answered. “Listen I’m gonna call your sister next. You need to pick her up where ever she tells you to, and come to the hospital.” “What’s going on?” Marcus asked. “Just hurry!” Hank almost shouted. Then he hung up and called Annie. Marucs had just been leaving school when his dad had called. It must be Mom, he thought as he pulled out of the parking lot. Or the baby, what happened? Why do we need to go to? He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he almost hit the car in front of him when it was stopped at a stoplight. Marcus sighed and put his head on the steering wheel. When his phone rang he jerked up and answered it. Annie told him to meet him at their house. He said ok as he turned the corner after the light turned green. Once she tried to ask him what happened he hung up, telling her to wait outside. Marcus pulled up beside the house and watched his sister, dressed all in black, run up to his car and get in. Thankfully she decided to not say anything. It had been very hard not to speed here, so he knew it would take every bit of concentration to not get pulled over on his way to the hospital. They rode almost the whole way in silence. More than once Marcus realized that he was going almost ten miles an hour over the limit and had to slow down, which was almost unbearable. When they finally arrived and parked both of them leaped out of Marcuses old, rusty car; slammed the doors; and ran for the hospital entrance. Hank had gone to the main lobby ten minuets before his kids arrived, not wanting to have to go and find them. He checked his watch when he saw them sprinting across the parking lot. There were forty-five minuets left. When they came through the automatic doors their eyes locked on him and they came toward him, stopped, and bombarded him with questions. Once he quieted them down he told them everything. After he was finished he looked at his watch and added, “We have about thirty minutes left.” Both of his kids were silent. For what seemed like a long time they said nothing. Then Marcus suggested they call their moms family and see what they had to say. They found their own private area of the lobby and called there moms brother, sister, and mom, putting them on speaker so everyone could hear. There Aunt and Uncle immediately told them that it was there choice, even though it was obvious they wanted their sister to live. Grandma was not so easy. Throughout their conversation she kept saying that it was wrong to kill a child even it meant sacrificing his or her mother. While Marcus was yelling at Hank saying he should not listen to Grandma, Annie heard someone walking toward them and looked up, then drew the man coming to her father’s attention. Hank rose to greet the doctor, hanging up the phone as he did so. “Mr. Gomez, glad I caught you. I’m going to need your decision now.” "This soon?" "I need to go get ready and everything, so now would be the best time." Hank remained silent for a short amount of time, thinking. Then he opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by Annie who felt like she knew what he was going to say. “You have to pick Mom, Dad! It’ll be too hard to raise all of us by yourself! Please!” Hank looked down at his daughter, and saw the water on the surface of her eyes, about to boil over into tears. His mind was racing now. “Mr. Gomez?” “My wife,” Hank said softly, “Please save my wife.” |
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| Ben Zwycky | Nov 8 2009, 01:56 PM Post #2 |
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Fearsome Fleet Leader :D
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Not too bad, one practical matter, you can't cut through a seatbelt with keys, you could have a windscreen hammer in the glove compartment or under the seat, they have an integrated seatbelt cutter. As a parent, I'd be more likely to choose to save the baby, parental instincts are very powerful, saving the wife would most likely be something that he would later regret and the wife would probably object to on discovering that fact, but people don't always make the best decisions under extreme stress, so I suppose that's acceptable. It seems a little bit forced that that neither of them is more likely to survive, but it can be that both will face different health challenges with good chances of success, but the choice still has to be made as both can't be saved. Overall, well described. |
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1:34 PM Jul 30